Chill Pill
by EbbyGothic
Summary: Stan and Kenna are united over the disbanding of Midnight Slasher while everyone begins acting strange. The boys and girls take on opposite personalities, Vi remaining the only stable child left in the group. Vi must work of get to the bottom of what's happened to her friends. Can she discover what has gone on and will she get her real friends back?


Vis POV-

Bitch, get out of my room!" Cartman snapped, pushing me off his bed.

"Why does Kenna get to stay!" I barked out.

"Because, she's not friends with buttmuch and twitch bitch!" he growled.

Kenna snickered as she typed on his computer, currently working on another sick Kyman fic.

"You only like Kenna because she lets you dom and ass bang Kyle! Fuck you Kenna, you traitor."

She shrugged, clicking another link before gasping, "oh fuck. Oh fuck! Midnight Slasher! Oh fuck! They- they broke up?!"

Cartman gave me a look, "who the fuck is Midnight Slasher. They sound like a bunch of goddamn hippies."

"They're not fucking hippies! They were the best band, oh god, fuck! I need to blog about this. Get out!"

"This is my room bitch!" Cartman barked.

"Get out get out! You have school anyways get out!" Kenna screamed. I grabbed Cartman's meaty hand and lugged him downstairs, and out the front door.

"Bitch be bitching," Cartman snarled, heading towards the bus stop. My eyebrows furrowed as I noticed Stan wearing...all black.

"Holy shit, Stan's a goth now?" I gaped.

"My name is Raven. And fucking Midnight Slasher is dead and so am I." Stan spat out before turning around and walking home.

Cartman sighed, "not this shit again."

I raised my hands, "I'm going to find a corner to sleep on. Bye."

Kyles POV –

We all entered the classroom after gym class to find boxes of candies set up on our desks. Seem's like the school was finally doing something right.

"Fucking sweet, free candy." Cartman chirped.

"As if you need it fatass." I laughed snatching up the box off my desk and stuffing it in my bag.

"Eyyy….. I do so need it and I'm not fat I'm big boned you butt fucking Jew Prince." Cartman snapped. "Ohhh look here, that emo pussy Stan wont need his candy, he's too busy crying into his pillow over bullshit to be at school so I get his free candy." He chuckled evilly.

I scoffed as I reached out to grab the box only to be beaten by Kenny who shot me a wink. We understood and were on the same wavelength…keep the candy away from fatass.

"That's just fine you assholes, I don't need it anyway. My mom will buy me candy if I want more and that small box will feed Kennys entire family for a month." Cartman snapped walking out of class and ripping into the box.

The three of us met up with Butters, Tweek, Craig, Clyde and Token who were sitting in the park eating their candy. I slumped next to them and began picking at mine too.

"Fuck yeah….. sugar rush time!" Butters chirped causing us to laugh.

"Ughhhh dudes…. Sugar rush has got nothing on a coffee hype." Tweek added.

We sat talking and eating candy for what seemed like an hour. All I remember after that was the group of us rushing around like a mob of idiots.

Morning light flooded my closed eyes. I slowly opened them to see I was asleep in the park, spooning Kenny and being spooned by Cartman. When had Cartman showed up? And where was everyone else?

"Wake the fuck up!" I snapped slapping Cartman in the face. "Get your morning wood out of my ass you fucking faggot!" I added. Cartman glared and sat up crossing his arms.

"Don't call me a faggot Kyle, it's not nice." He said calmly, albiet a little sadly. I laughed as I eyed him.

"You are a fat fucking faggot." I said climbing to my feet. I kicked Kenny who rolled over and curled in a ball beginning to sob.

"What the fuck bitch….screw you guys I'm going home." I scoffed as I began walking towards my house.

Vis POV-

I knocked on the door of Kyles house, I hadn't seen Tweek or Butters for two days and I was worried. Perhaps he'll know. Kyle answered the door and smirked wickedly.

"Oh if it isn't the not so flip topped head, fake Canadian whore. I see you don't have your dyke friend up your ass." Kyle snapped. I stared wide eyed and shook my head.

"Nice Cartman impression Kyle…What is it, be a dick day?" I asked. Kyle shook his head and slammed the door. I huffed as I walked away. Something didn't feel right.

I pulled out my cell and dialed Cartman. No answer.

The guys were completely normal two days ago. What had happened. They'd only been to school and home. Call me suspicious but a feeling in my gut told me to investigate.

I snuck into the school, knowing something fucked up was happening. My first instinct was to find someone, anyone to gage if they were acting like themselves. But I hadn't seen any of the guys in days. I roamed the halls hoping to find Butters, Tweek, Craig, or Kenny; please god say they're normal.

Scurrying through the hallways I could hear moaning coming from the end of the hallway, and naturally I headed in that direction.

The sounds of kissing and other love making noises were coming from the girls change room, and I was convinced Kenny was working his whore magic.

Leaning against the wall my eyes furrowed as Wendy came out of the room, fixing her skirt. My jaw dropped.

"Kenny was fooling around with Wendy!" I had to tell Kenna, she'd be pissed.

I grit my teeth as I waited for the blonde to come out so I could give him a piece of my mind. And a blonde did come out of the room, just not the one I thought.

"Hey, bitch." Butters said coolly, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Butters what the actual fuck?" I gaped.

He stepped forward and I felt a hand on my inner thigh, "don't be jealous, Vi. I can make you feel just as good as Wendy did, and you'll be moaning my name like the dirty slut you are." His hand snaked up my shirt.

I shoved him, for once speechless.

Kicking him in the crotch I ran the other way ; what fucked up alternate universe did I just stumble into? What fucked up world was this?!

"What the hell is going on!"

Tweeks POV-

I saw Vi as she ran outside of the school. She seemed a bit flustered. I walked up gave her a big hug.

"What's a matter?" I ask with confidence. Her eyes widened.

"Wow... Fuck. Vi I'm normal." I gloated. Vi nodded and grinned as she wasn't sure about what was going on.

I took a step and stared her up and down admiring her; everything that I liked.

I moved in quickly scooping Vi up in my arms, our faces close as intently kissed her. "I like you Vi... You're everything I want; a whore and nice girl, your the one thing I need to keep me sane." I announced.

"A whore and a nice girl," she gawks, as I released her. She looked flattered, but also suspicious.

I step away noticing Vi's face she stared into space, deep in thought, wondering what the fuck was going on...come to think of it, so was I.

Kennas POV-

I laid atop Stans bed. We were facing each other sharing his headphones, one ear bud each a we laid silently as we'd spent the last few days together mourning the breakup of Midnight Slasher. I felt my phone vibrating in the pocket of my black skinnies. I reached in snatching my phone.

"Ughh... It's Vi." I scoffed Stan rolled his eyes and grimaced.

I answered.

"Kenna, Butters just tried to sexually assault me he's not himself." She said quickly, her tone worrying me. "And Tweek just said the cutest thing ever, and it's fucked up!"

"What?!" I asked concerned for the friend I hadn't seen in two days.

"What part of all I just said don't you get you fucking stupid whore!" She snapped. I felt a surge of anger inside me as I disconnected the call.

Stan stared at me.

"What was all that about?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Just Vi being her usual self... Nothing new. Sometimes I wonder has she ever cared about my feelings... She's always calling me with a new story about something going on but I don't do that. I dunno what to think right now... I'm numb inside and the world can burn." I ranted. Stan nodded.

"Let's be numb together." He whispered. I eyed him, brows raised.

"What... You didn't just say that?" I question. Stan chuckled.

"Low blood sugar... I'm starving and I say dumb shit." He answered. I laughed.

"Me too.." I said. Stan frowned.

"There's no food in the house... Shopping is tomorrow; why do you think mom and dad aren't here?" He growled. I rolled my eyes.

"You got any money to order out?" I quizzed. Stan shook his head. I sighed.

"Wait... Kyle left me some candy the guys came here the other day completely fucked up... Its on my desk." He stated.

I climbed up from my comfortable position on the bed and stumbled toward the desk covered in junk and clutter. I snatched up the half pack of candies and threw them to Stan. I slowly strolled back toward the bed watching as he began stuffing his face. So attractive.. Not!

I reached in stealing a handful of the treats slowly feasting and savoring the taste. What happened next was all a blur leading up to my passing out into a deep coma like sleep. I awoke to the sounds of birds. I looked around the room.

"Ahhh man... Where the fuck am I? I don't know. Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I ranted wildly tugging at my hair as I entered panic mode and struggled for breath.

Stans POV-

Henrietta stared at the pair of us and scoffed from where her and Firkle were seated as Kenna began to break down.

"Erghhh... So we like know Midnight Slasher broke up but that was like a week ago. Aren't you done with the crying yet?"

I shot her a glare as I held Kenna close, her head buried into my neck as I stroked my fingers through her dark hair. What about Wendy? My mind reminded me of my obsessive feelings for my ex. I shook off the thoughts. Focusing on what I currently wanted.

"Yeah crying is so emo... Maybe you're in the wrong group. Run to the emo kids you fag." Firkle murmured. I glared at him as I felt I was about to cry too. What the fuck was wrong with my emotions. If I wasn't completely numb and depressed I wanted to cry or was crying.

Kenna pulled away from me and stared toward the two Goths.

"Fuck guys..." She nervously snapped.

"I'm not emo and stop fucking pressuring me... I'm so under stress right now." She said jittering.

"Ughhh... It was more than a band to some... It was so, so important." She hissed tugging at the sleeves of her hoodie pulling them over her hands.

"Yeah quit torturing them guys... They're not conformists and we took them in as friends." Pete said from behind us, I turned to see him shooting us a sordid half smile.

"Yeah give them a break, they seem cool." Michael added as he leaned against a wall and lit a cigarette.

Kenna stood bouncing on the spot tugging at her hair. I stared to the two Goths who were defending us.

"Thanks…. I guess." I muttered. Michael nodded.

"It's totally fine Raven…. We miss Midnight Slasher too. We're just handling it better than you and your friend." He explained.

"We're actually happy you came back to us. We've been counting the day til you returned….. you're too deep for their happy, cartoon, ass fucking conformist coloured life. You Raven are a child of darkness." Pete stated. I nodded.

"So what do we call your friend?" He added motioning toward the nervous wreck of Kenna beside me.

"We call her Kenna." I said quietly. The two scoffed.

"Conformist name…. we'll give her a better name."

"Ahhhhhhhhh fuck! I need a fucking coffee so bad, so fucking bad right now." Kenna shrieked, her eye twitching. Pete smirked.

"I'm thinking she'll fit in nicely Raven…. And we'll call her Noir." Pete said beginning to walk off.

"Wait, where are we going?" I asked.

Henrietta rolled her eyes.

"To get your emo slut some coffee." She scoffed walking off after the other guys.

Butters POV –

I stared at the photo of Vi, Tweek and I. I gently trace my finger over Vi's face. Fuck she was gorgeous. I bought the photo up to my face and began kissing her.

"Oh Vi, you will be my fuck toy." I whispered as I heard the door to my room open and slam closed.

I stopped and glanced behind me to see Vi glaring at me.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I'm young and horny…. I guess this is normal." I announced. Vi groaned as she walked up toward me.

"Oh yeah babe, you want this cock don't you?" I shook her head and began violently slapping me.

"Yeah I like it rough girl." I exclaimed laughing. The door opened and shut again I turned to see Tweek.

"Butters, we're here to help you. Vi has a feeling something's going on. She wants to gather everyone and get to the bottom of it all." He explained. I nodded.

"I understand; this is your way of getting the threesome with us you've wanted all along isn't it Vi….. well I'm down for it." I stated unbuttoning my jeans. Vi punched me in the face and nodded toward Tweek who walked up behind me and held my arms.

"You're coming with us whether you like it of not." Vi snarled. I laughed.

"Yeah I know we'll all be coming…. I agreed to the fuck fest." I chuckled. Vi reached into a bag and threw Tweek a length of rope.

Tweek bound my arms in front of me and began dragging me with them. I really didn't have a clue what was happening. But I hoped I was about to get my balls licked.

Clyde's POV-

"Shut up!" I screamed, covering my ears.

Craig was sitting on my porch sobbing his eyes out like some kind of pussy. "Stop with the goddamn crying you freak!"

Craig sniffed, "Why won't anybody like me!" he whined before breaking down again.

Token was nervously looking towards Craig, "W-we l-like you C-Craig, please stop crying."

I scoffed, "no we don't! He's goddamn annoying and look at that hat! How gay is that?"

Craig pointed an accusing finger, "you're just a big ol b-b-bully!"

I flipped him the bird, catching sight of someone approaching.

Vi and Tweek had Butter's tied up behind them, and they were watching Craig sob with wide eyes. Vi walked up to him and held his face, "is the world ending? Craig Tucker does not cry."

Craig held onto her and cried into her chest, causing Butter's to roll his eyes.

"Hey Clyde, you have a tight ass don't you? Why don't you come closer so I can try it out," Butter's moaned, "these ropes have me so hard."

"Not even in your dreams, dicks for brains." I grinned.

Token swallowed harshly, "oh jesus. Butters is so v-vulgar!"

Tweek stroked his chin, "Token never stutters. Like ever!"

Butter's grins, "he's probably thinking about how big my hotdog is; come have a taste Token!"

Vi pulls Craig to his feet, "Butters keep your dick in your pants you goddamn perve!"

"I thought you liked perves?" I quipped.

She growled, "I do, but not like this. You're all acting fucked. Craigs sobbing, Tweek's sedated, Butters is a whore, Token's nervous as fuck, and you Clyde, well, your still dumb as shit."

"Ay, fuck you bitch."

"See! The real Clyde would have cried like a bitch, just like Craig is!" Vi screamed.

Tweek yanked Butters forward, causing the boy to moan, "let's go to Kyle's, and find the others. We need to sort this out."

Craig screamed between wet sobs, "I am not a bitch!"

Cartmans POV –

I casually strolled out my front door, soaking up the sun as I was making my way to find my friends. Kenny rounded the corner gazing around blankly.

"Hey Kenny!" I chirped. Kenny jumped and looked toward me. His eyes flurried about and he knocked his fists together.

"What are you doing today?" I quizzed. Kenny shook his head.

"Oh…. Eric. I don't know." He answered. I smiled.

"It's fine dude….. let's go find our friends no doubt they're doing something awesome."

Kenny and I walked two blocks in silence, me enjoying the unusually nice weather and Kenny skipping beside me singing to himself.

"Loo, loo, loo…. The perfect sunshine. Loo, loo, loo, let's bake a pie."

In the near distance we laid our eyes on Vi and a small group. I hollered and waved as the group noticed me. Then made their way over and I smiled.

"Hey fellas." Kenny greeted cutely waving his hand. Vi rolled her eyes.

"Well fuck me…. Not you two as well." She scoffed. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Not us too what, Vi?" I questioned. She waved a hand before my face.

"You are Eric Cartman and you just called me by my name and not some vulgar profanity. Are you feeling ok?" He announced feeling my head. I laughed.

"I feel fine…. Why?" I inquired as I took in the sight behind her. Craig crying, Token on edge and biting his bottom lip, Butters tied up being led by Tweek who's eyes were fully opened and his hair and shirt we tidy and straight and Clyde smiling. I stood deep in thought. Until my brain actually worked.

"You all seem different to me." I finally announced.

"You're different too fatass…. Since when are you nice and friendly and you just observed a situation and thought about it. This is fucking scary." Vi shouted waving her arms around crazily. I nodded.

"True…..and Vi my name isn't fatass." I stated. Vi groan and smacked her hand to her forehead.

Kenny chuckled. "Um…. Vi. I want you to know. Oh how do I say this…. Hamburgers. Vi even when annoyed you look awfully pretty."

Vi scoffed and walked between Kenny and I. She stopped and turned back toward us.

"You guys come with us." She ordered. Kenny skipped after her and I nodded.

"So I presume we're going to find Stan, Kyle and Kenna?" I asked. Vi stared straight ahead refusing to make eye contact with me.

Vi growled. "Yes Cartman, we're going to find those assholes and let's fucking hope they're normal or I'm going to lose my mind."

I smirked as she spoke. We were going to get Kyle. My sweet, sweet man Kyle.

Tweeks POV-

"Butters, let go of my ass." I growled, feeling his roaming hands cup my backside.

He moved closer to me, pressing himself against my back. "What's wrong babe, you don't want any of this? I can make you feel good." He licked my neck before biting it.

Clyde was laughing at the sight, and Vi looked flustered. Butters grinned into my neck, "Mmm I can tell she wants us."

I swallowed, my eyes wide.

"Kyle! Kyle dear!" Cartman yelled out as he knocked on the redheads door.

"Shut up you stupid ass licking pirate!" Kyle snapped as he opened the door, seeming irritated as Cartman fussily crossed his arms.

My mouth fell open as I felt Butters hands on my crotch and stumbled away from him, "No Butters, you can't do that!"

He growled and approached Kenny with a leering smile. Kenny blinked, "oh heya Butters! Isn't today lookin mighty fine?" he smiled shyly.

Butters nodded, "today would look even better if you were naked and lying under me."

Kenny yelped, "oh jesus! I-I-I oh jesus!"

"Butters! Come here!" Vi snapped.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "are you all going to stand here and waste my time or are you gonna tell me something? I don't have time for this bullshit, kay? Seriouslah."

"No Kyle wait!" Cartman pleaded, grabbing his hand, "Kyle, I love you Kyle. Your everything I ever wanted in a man; ginger, jersey, jewish. You can't deny this connection."

"Hey guys," Kyle shouted, "Cartman want's my D! He think's im so coo'. Because I am cool. But no, Cartmahn, I will have to decline your decoration of luv...plus your not even a jew. Stupid Catholic." He snapped.

Cartman frowns, eyes downcast, "what if I convert for you?"

"No! No!" Vi shrieks.

Kyle stroked his chin, "yea, yea that would work Cartmahn, that would work very well."

"That is a terrible idea!" she shrieked again.

Kyle grabbed Cartman's hand and pulled him to the garage where he grabbed his bike, "hop on fatass, we're gonna make you a jew."

I could only watch as they peddled away towards the nearest synongouge, Kyle throwing us the finger and Cartman clutching the redheads middle like a fangirl.

Craig started crying again, "Why d-do p-people keep giving us the f-f-finger!"

Kennas POV –

I'd been majorly fucked up over the past few days. Nervous, lacking confidence. Nothing like myself. Stan had been my closest ally as we continued our mourning, how long would this last? Weeks? Months? Years? I was beginning to question why this had driven me so deep into sadness. But I was thankful, I'd found a friend in someone I thought was worthless because of it, perhaps Stan and I were always meant to come together.

I sat grasping the mug of strong, dark roast my hands quivering as I sat in thought. I heard a soft cough. I looked up toward Stan who was lying across his bed writing a poem. I gazed upon him. He was kind of sexy in black, but I could never tell him that.

"What are you thinking Noir?" He asked. I sat my mug down and laced my fingers together clutching my hands.

"Well…. I've been thinking… ugh fuck….. I've been thinking….. nope can't say it. Man what's with all the fucking questions?" I ranted. Stan climbed up from the bed and walked toward me snatching me up in his arms pulling me close.

"I'm not pressuring you, I just don't believe it's healthy to encage the darkness which consumes your soul. Let it out, unleash your beasts upon me so we may share the burdens of what lingers in your mind." Stan explained. I nodded.

"Dude…. The band was like…. Sorta important to me. But I'm beginning to miss the guys and Vi. Fuck….. why cant we be down and dark around them…. They understand us better then anyone…. Cuz they're our friends; goth or not." I explained slowly my entire body shaking, craving a hit of the sweet black substance.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Stan moped. I pulled away and shrugged pulling thread from the bottom of my shirt avoiding eye contact with Stan.

"Stop with the fucking questions!" I snapped tearing a hole through my black tank I'd been plucking at. Stan hung his head and his eyes began to well up. I began to walk away and he grabbed at my wrist.

"I need answers now McKenna…. What are you talking about? Are you not happy with me? The friends we have? The life we've made? Tell me now!" Stan ordered. My eyes stared around the room frantically, I was scared. Without warning or thought I punched Stan in the face knocking him backward onto the floor.

I turned and ran outside into the pitch black, rain fell upon me. I stopped as I heard my name being called. I turned slowly getting drenched.

"W-w-w-what!" I stammered out. Stan ran up and stood before me.

"I love you." He blurted out. I stared at him wide eyed still twitching from coffee overload.

"Not possible…. It can't be. Nope, I don't believe it." I murmured. Stan nodded.

"I do….. love you. Over the past few days I've discovered it. But I'm a fucking disgusting unlovable mess, no girl will ever like me." Stan whined. I reached out a gloved hand and gently stroked his face.

"Don't say that Stan…. That's fucked. Any girl should think herself lucky to be with you." I said nerves taking control once more.

Stan shot me a cheeky half smile as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I'd do anything for you Kenna….. everything I've done lately was for you. I even sucked off my best friend to save you from doing it. The thought of you having to do that made my flesh crawl and I wanted to cut my fucking heart out at the thought of anyone else touching you; even fucking Kenny. He's an asshole. Why you like him, I'll never know." Stan poured his heart out.

I pressed a shaking digit to his lips silencing him as the both of us became soaked as the downpour became heavier.

"Shut the fuck up..." I growled as Stan leaned in planting a warm, wet kiss upon my lips. Our bodies pressed together as I indulged in his touch, feeling sure about something for the first time in almost three days.

I pulled away quickly when I heard someone shouting.

"That's fucking disgusting!"

I turned to see Vi standing with the others watching on as I stood wrapped in Stans arms.

"Oh man….fuck, fuck, fuck." I mumbled as I pushed him away and faked a smile.

Vi's POV-

"Kenny do you not care at all that Stan's getting all up on your girl?!" I shouted, feeling quite insane myself.

Kenny shrugged, "well ugh, Stan can do whatever he likes but it'd be real nice if he stopped doing it in front of me..." he said shyly.

Kenna shrieked, and clutched at her hair, "oh god I need some coffee! Fuck!"

"I wanna fuck!" Butters grinned and I tugged his rope, making him stumble after me. I also took Craig's hand and ushered the group into Butters house that was next door to get us out of the rain.

"What drugs have you all been taking?" I snapped, "and why didn't you share?"

Token shook his head, "no no no! No drugs!"

Clyde scoffed, "bitch, you act like your on a whole lotta drugs."

Craig's crying finally died down, and he surprisingly let me stroke his head. This Craig I could get used to. Tweek was eyes me carefully, before glancing at a packet of something on Butters desk.

Tweek pointed at the candy, "it's that. The candy is the only thing we've all come in contact with and it's fucked us up."

Clyde rolls his eyes, "speak about yourself."

Stan sniffed as tears ran down his face, and shock was on his face, "is that why I can't stop crying?"

Kenna jerked, "and why I'm AGH so goddamn agh fucking spazzy?"

Clyde grabbed the candy and popped one into his mouth, before smirking and pinning me to the bed.

I screamed as his mouth was on mine, and the sweet candy was in my mouth. In surprise I swallowed it, and my vision clouded.

Butters pushed through the group and approached me, nuzzling my cheek, "babe? Babe you okay? Want me to kill that fucker?"

I curled into myself, clutching Craig.

I felt...scared.

I looked away from Butters, "n-no, please don't do that. Killing is a sin. God wouldn't want you to do that, it's in the book of Genesis. God will smite you if you sin!"

Tweek covered his mouth in horror as Kenna shrieked.

Kenny cocked his head, "fellas! Vi's all religious!"

Craig sobbed loudly in my arms, "I don't wanna be s-s-smited!"

Tweeks POV –

"Ok with Vi now fucked up I suggest we come together to get to the bottom of this." I announced as I shook my head as Butters gently brushed his fingers through my hair.

"Butters ughhh…. Dude just…" I paused. Staring around the room.

I'd just twitched and made my vocal tick. I turned my attention to Craig.

"Craig….. oh man too much pressure…." I yelped tugging at the sleeves of my shirt. I placed my hand on my leg and dug my nails into my flesh ready to test my theory.

"Craig….. you're a disgusting fucking piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live anymore." I choked out quickly. Craig glared at me.

"Fuck you Tweek." He growled flipping the bird. I bounced on the spot as I figured out, the drugs were wearing off. Craig paused and smirked.

"Wait, I didn't cry." He said. I nodded.

"Ahh…. that's right." I stammered out. "Try someone else." I ordered.

Craig stared around the room and walked towards Butters. He reached down and unzipped Butters pants sliding his hand inside. Butters seized up, wide eyed staring at Craig.

"Is that what you want you dirty boy?" Craig asked in his usual monotone. Butters looked around the room toward the others his eyes pleading for help.

"Y-y-you ok there….. arghhhh Butters?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Oh gee Tweek….. um…..Craig seems to be jerking me off." Butters mumbled. I jumped up and down.

"It's wearing off…. Whatever it may be." I explained.

The other boys began to come to slowly as well. Except the newly infected Vi.

Stan stepped forward, confused. But that wasn't new with him.

"It must depend on how much you ate…." He announced, all eyes on him. Nodding head surround me.

"Cuz Kenna and I ate the candies the day after you, but we only had half a box." Stan explained. I harmonized in agreement.

"So that means Vi should be fine in about an hour?" Craig asked. Stan nodded.

"Hey guys…..come look at this?" Token shouted. We ran toward him to see he was clutching the box staring at small print across the bottom.

"What the hell is a Maefesto?" He asked. Stan gasped.

"Do you know what it is?" Clyde sobbed. Stan hummed letting us know he knew.

"Well that the fuck is it?" Kenna snapped. Stan grinned.

"He's a kooky old scientist dude who sews asses onto unsuspecting animals and calls them experiments. If he tries to do anything else…. Well let's just say it usually ends up a pretty fucked up situation." Stan explained.

"Oh… you said the eff-word. Blasphemer." Vi shrieked covering her ears and glaring at Stan who simply rolled his eyes.

"Do you know where this asshole lives?" Craig asked.

"I can't take this, all the cursing is horrible. You'll all burn for this, your serpents tongues will see you exist in eternal hellfire…. For it's a sin!" Vi shouted. I groaned.

"Butters…..ughhhh fuck. Can you do something with our princess please?" I urged. Butters nodded.

"Sure can do." He chirped walking toward Vi. He extended a hand toward her his soft expression meeting her disgusted stares.

"Now Vi…. I'm going to take good care of you…. You're special to me and I don't want to see you like this." Butters soothed. Vi smiled.

"Aawww, well aren't you the sweetest little thing ever…..bless you child." She purred reaching up and tousling Butters blonde tuft.

We turned back to Stan our glances pressing for answers.

"Yeah I know where he is…" He announced.

"Well let's go, we gotta get to the bottom of this and save fatass before he does something dumb." Clyde chimed in as we began rushing out the door.

Craigs POV –

Stan stood in front of us and knocked on the heavy lead door with all his might. The small flap lifted and we saw eyes peering out.

"Who's there?" The voice asked. Stan cleared his throat and held up the empty candy box. The eyes widened and the flap slammed shut. We shot glances to each other wondering what was happening when the door opened.

"Children." The old man met us with a sheepish grin. "Kevin, we have guests….children. Make them some cocoa." He ordered his little monkey friend.

Stan threw the box toward him. "Don't bother with cocoa, you'd only try to poison us again." He snarled.

"Yeah what the hell was in that candy?" Token asked.

"It made us all batshit crazy." Kenna chimed in.

Mafesto slid down into a nearby chair his head in his hands.

"Oh my lord….. the demon spawned, devil's concubine used profanity. Let us pray." Vi announced raising her arms toward the sky and clenched her eyes shut.

"You see. You fucking see. That girl is usually obnoxious, foul mouthed and crude. She usually writes vile stories about us fucking each other and now she's praying like some Sunday school retard." Stan snapped. Maefesto nodded.

"I see." He grumbled.

Stan slammed his fist on the table before Maefesto "What have you poi….."

"Stan…." Kenna interrupted. Stan rolled his entire head, his neck cracking.

"Yeah." He snarled.

"Babe, they're not stories…." She began.

"We know Kenna, they're fan fics… and why you calling him babe." Kenny growled.

Kenna grinned sheepishly as she made her way toward the hooded boy and nuzzled her nose against his face as they began whispering.

"For fucks sake old man, enough with everyones games and bullshit, just tell us what the fuck you've done to us?" I said sternly.

The man looked toward me and nodded.

"Fine…." He sighed defeated.

"The school was tired of your shitty behavior. It is logged in the charter…. Fourth grade boys cause the most problems. They employed me to develop a drug to calm you down." He stated.

"What?" I gasped.

"Yes, they told me to produce it quickly so they could trial it, can't you asshole kids see it. The school is under review, if they don't pass an inspection the school is being closed and you will all have to bus in to Denver Elementary. I hurried along and manufactured the serum which I soaked your sweets in. The school took delivery of the sweets and gave them to you and since then have had a snitch keeping reports on you all. The reports are dismal; the drug failed. Instead of up all being your usual asshole selves, you went in the opposite direction and went bat shit on us." Mafesto sighed.

"So you know it failed, why didn't you do anything?" Token asked. Mafesto laughed.

"Because it was meant to be a forever thing…. You weren't meant to snap out of it. We were preparing ourselves for a future with crazy children in town. Yet, I see I failed with it's longevitiy too." Maefesto groaned.

"So how long does it last?" Kenny muttered. Maefesto drug a piece of paper across the long table and began scribbling on it.

"Depending on how much you consume; ok so if you boys at an average of twenty pieces each….. that means the two emo kids had about ten pieces each. You guys were fucked up for about four days, them two….. yes that makes sense. Half the pack is Twenty pieces…. That means each piece of candy causes you to be loopy for four to five hours." Maefesto explained. I glanced toward Vi and shook my head.

"So we got another three to four hours or Vicar Vi….. isn't there something you could do?" I requested. Maefesto nodded.

"Give me a second…. I might have a vaccine laying around, plus I could give her more asses." He laughed.

Everyone glared at him. He scoffed.

"Chilrden…. Wouldn't know a wonder if it jumped up wearing a tutu and slapped them in the face."

Maefesto roamed off mumbling to himself, soon enough he returned with an injection behind his back. Clyde saw the needle and began to cry loudly.

"Oh my god, don't bring that near me." He sobbed. I leaped toward Clyde grabbing him and placing my hand over his loud fucking mouth.

Maefesto acting quickly jabbed Vi who stared blankly toward him grasping her arm. He smirked.

"How do you feel young lady?" He questioned. Vi's soft pensive smile became a glared as her eyebrows furrowed.

'That fucking hurt, you rank ass fucking mother fucker!" Vi snapped slapping the old man in the face.

"Woah dude….. my super best is back!" Kenna chirped running across the room and snatching her up in a hug. Vi hugged back.

"I'm sorry for not being there for you Viv." Kenna murmured. Vi nodded.

"I'm sorry too….. sorry that you're a fucked up gothic whore who cared about a band more than our friendship….. fuck you. Fuck you up the nose, unprotected. You might actually give life to some fucking rational thoughts than you fucking retard." Vi snarled. Kenna laughed hugging her again.

'I missed you." The girls echoed off each other. Stan clapped his hands bringing the attention back to him.

"I love girl on girl as much as the rest, but now we gotta go save my super best. He and fatass ate a little more and they'll be coming out of the crazy high soon." Stan announced.

"Yeah we don't want Kyle and Cartman doing anything stupid." Token announced.

We all ran again, out of another house. Back to normal and feeling perfect. It was time to save two people I really didn't care about.

Wait…. I didn't care so why was I going?

Vi's POV –

We ran toward Kyles house and burst through the front door. The amount of time we'd just entered not caring if we'd broken the door or if it was insane. Surely his parents were sick of us by now.

We slowly roamed the house looking for a sign of Kyle and Cartman.

"Hey guys check this out." Stan called out.

We strolled into the dining room and looked upon a certificate. I stifled my laughter as I read it.

Kenny couldn't contain it anymore and chuckled breathlessly. "What the fuck?"

Token gawked upon the paper "A marriage certificate." He whispered.

"A jewish wedding certificate." I added.

The sound of glass shattering up the hallway caused us to jump. We all turned and stared in the direction the noise came from.

"You go check it out Kenna, no one like you anyway." Craig urged. Kenna glared.

"No on likes you and your queer little flappy hat." She snarled. Craig flipped her off.

"Oh guys hush, we all know this is the kind of job we'd usually give Cartman….. so considering all of us together still wouldn't fill his pants, we'll all go." I ordered.

We all held hands tightly as the sun was beginning to set. We crept up the hallway slowly. Hearing heavy breathing and violent cries, whimpers and shouts coming from Kyles room, which I'd stayed in many times before.

We finally stood outside it and the noises coming from behind the door were obvious. I looked toward Kenna and nudged her.

"Psst…. Get your phone out." I said. She smirked as I reached for the handle.

Everyone had heard me tell Kenna to get her phone out and they'd all taken there's out. I grabbed the handle and the door sprung open.

"Oh yes….. Kyle pound my ass like you're preparing a brisket for the oven." Cartman moaned whorishly. His and Kyle's heavy breaths and every action being videoed by everyone surrounding me.

"Fuck yes….. Kyman exists!" Kenna and I shouted causing the pair to stare toward us.

The grunts of pleasure and happy expressions soon faded and we knew the candy drug had worn off.

"AGHH!" Both boys screeched as the quickly separated.

"What the fuck were you doing to my ass you jew?" Cartman shrieked.

"I don't know….. why the fuck are you wearing a yumulka fatboy?" Kyle shot back pointing.

Craig, wide eyed and disturbed slowly reach out and closed the door as Kyle flung a shoe toward Cartman.

We slowly began walking away, the perverts of the group turned on by what they'd seen. I wasn't sure if I'd enjoyed the sight or what, but if I knew one thing for sure it's that every kid at school would have watched the video within an hour once Kenna and I got back near a computer.

Isn't social media a beautiful thing?


End file.
